Lakh & Crores

Lakhs & Crores

India is going through one of the most debated financial turmoils that could transform India either way. By demonetizing 70 to 80% of its currently used currency notes with a view to combating black money and striking at tax-evaders, the underworld, hoarders and terrorist organisations all in one go, the Government seems to be fighting an uphill battle to see that the move doesn't accentuate the pain on an ever growing number of its middle class and poor, who suddenly find themselves in never ending queues waiting endlessly for the Good days that has been promised. The opposition makes merry during this difficult period for the government.

I observe this from my perch in Africa, slightly distant from the turmoil. Not directly affected, but certainly concerned as business associates predict uncertain times.

While listening to arguments from both the pro demonetization, pro Modi lobby and the opposition, have been hearing of huge sums of money being either squandered or lost or recovered (depending on which side of the argument we hear from)

But living overseas has also highlighted another problem ... One of an Indian attitude of simple ignorance!

I've always wondered, when have we adopted these denominations of numbers "Lakhs & Crores"!! . I'm sure it's somewhere from our rich, deep culture from our glorious past, and am equally convinced that they'll continue to haunt us in our promised glorious future too.

While in India, it seemed most natural to hear of Lakhs and Crores of Rupees (and of the days of Lakhpatis & Crorepatis - (quite funnily pronounced "corrode-pathis"!! referring to an equivalent to Millionaire& Billionaire clubs),  I'm often fuddled at how, when we Indians travel overseas, we continue to use these rather 'exclusive to India' denominations to express monetary figures,  thus, most often leaving the foreign listener completely oblivious to the financial implications of the discussion.

And keeping in view, that we're considered the new financial whiz guys on the block, listeners nod in awe with all respect, possibly comprehending nothing.

I remember, recently, an Indian team of Experts training an African Chamber of Commerce on the importance of Export documentation procedures.. and every example they gave, highlighted profits and losses in "lakhs" and "crores" of dollars. The trainees went through the course with wide eyed seemingly dumbstruck awe.  The Training over, It was only when we questioned the team receiving training if they understood what these terms meant,  that did both the trainer and trainee realize the futility of the programme... all brought virtually to nought by our 'taken-for-granted-that-everyone-understands-us' attitude.

I wonder if we will ever be able to over come this and slowly merge with the internationally accepted norms of denomination.  Or, as has been happening over the last few decades, will we see Lakhs and Crores be accepted in English dictionaries ?  Or will the world of numbers and mathematics accept these terms as standard denomination for the future.

And while we aimlessly deliberate on the pros and cons of demonetisation... I'd like to clear the shroud of secrecy over this unique Indian denomination of demonetisation.

One hundred thousand is a Lakh

One Million is 10 Lakhs

Ten Million is 100 Lakhs or is a Crore!!

One Billion is 100 Crores!!

And what confounds even further is the unique placement of the separator, the comma,

One Lakh has 5 zeroes and is written like this : 1,00,000.

One Crore is 100 Lakhs and is written like this : 1,00,00,000.

HELP!

Monies deposited in Banks in the first few days of this Demonetisation drive was close to Fifty thousand Crore Rupees.!!!!

50,000 crores of Rupees is approximately 900 Crore Dollars or 9 Billion USD!!

I'm not sure how correct I am.. but it can't be too far away from "Loads of Money"!!!

Good quiz questions would be to ask 'How many zeroes are there in 50,000 Crore Rupees?', and here's the tougher one. 'How many separators (commas) are used?'

And until our Indian "implants" in Google (Sundar) and Microsoft (Satya) are able to inculcate these revolutionary numerical terms & indicators into common use internationally, trust readers will appreciate the education.

The Great "Gods Own Country" Roadway Experience

I am a Malayalee 

(for my slightly ignorant readers, Malayalam is the language and Malayalees are people from the state of Kerala in South India)

If I were to highlight a few things Malayalees are well known for, I'd be unfair and ostracised if I didn't mention Alcohol.  I'd be disrobed if I didn't mention the Lungi. But enough has been written of our prowess in consuming distillates of high calorific value and of this colourful attire of the lower male torso. Both are legendary and we shall 'skirt' the issue.

There are the other known factors on Kerala that bring in millions of tourists  - to visit our own 'Gods Own Country' - a slogan coined to describe our state - the land of Kathakali (a form of dance with masquerade), of Ayurveda - a form or art & science of traditional healing. The Backwaters. The bedecked Elephants and drummers at temple festivals... Kerala is truly Gods Own Country.

Well, in every aspect, except ONE!

We shall delve into the exception shortly, but at the same time would state that I am convinced that it's our apparent High Literacy and a few other things that make up our state and us, the people - the unique Malayalees of Kerala.

A humorous cartoon from the internet describing the high levels of literacy in Kerala

But there is another aspect of "Malayalee existence" that we often fail to mention -  probably because it just whizzes past us - Literally.

The Malayalee Civic Sense,
(Kerala remains one of the cleaner states in India) .

However this Civic Sense that we're quite famous for and proud about - suddenly disappears the moment we get into a car, onto a road and drive!!.

We regretfully remain champions in 'our utter incomprehensible inability to observe any civic sense on the roads'.

It is completely bewildering. Put a Malayalee in a car on a road and everything suddenly goes haywire. We do not respect road rules. We do not respect other road users. We don't know what speed limits mean. We drink (..and Oh Boy do we drink!!) and drive. The only thing we notice in Diageos advertisements against drinking and driving is the Brand Diageo!!  We not only speak loudly in public on roads, we also have this terrible impossible habit of 'horning' (horning is the same as honking) while driving. And some times while not driving too!!  And we have to Horn. Horn. Horn.

On an average, every Malayalee driver in Kerala uses a horn every 7.59 seconds (measured and calibrated in great earnest by the author of this blog, but is unable to provide any scientific reference!!). Stop at an intersection. Honk. Start the car. Honk. See a friend. Honk. See a policeman. Honk. No one on the road (which is in itself a rare occurrence). HONK! a Dog on the road. Honk. A bird in the Sky. HONK. Someone else Honks. HONK. Somone else doesn't honk. HONK the list of reasons to HONK is endless. HONK.

I've over the years, been convinced that the sound pollution in Kerala on roads exceeds every other kind of pollution - all combined!!

And thereby this humble Malayalee set out to try and figure out what could causes this inexplicable paradigm shift in the civic sense of the inhabitants of Gods Own Country.

And this research, has led me to believe that we actually are a special race, in a race.

Living in Gods Own Country, Malayalees have learnt every thing about the Gods - Their opulent lifestyle. The sumptuous feasts. The gold and jewellery bedecked spouses and Elephants. The Secrets of coconut and other essential oils and jasmine flowers with their almost aphrodisiacal properties. The damsels of Kerala, with their long flowing fragrant hair - (I briefly digress remembering Al Pacinos 'Scent of a Woman') and a 'HONK' brings me back to reality - to my quest to comprehend the reasons of this cacophony.

I wonder. The Malayalees have it all. You name it. We've learnt it all.

Well, almost all.

I have realised that while they have every thing else from the Gods,  there is one thing the Malayalees of Kerala have been unable to acquire from the Gods. The ability to appear and disappear. the ability to quickly move from place to place, to teleport them selves without having to ask Scottie, to beam them up or elsewhere! (Scottie, beam me up - a phrase relating to teleportation, made famous in the famous Star Trek series)

When Malayalees travel, they travel as ordinary human beings. On pot-hole infested, narrow, winding roads with a multitude of impediments like other travelers, animated or inebriated alike, all in different modes of transport, unlike the Gods who swiftly and silently moved from scene to scene, chore to chore, place to place, enjoying the unlimited fruits offered in this glorious state of Kerala.

The Malayalees have been unable to learn this one secret from the Gods - the art of teleportation.

And thus we Malayalees, ever literate, ever inquisitive, constantly endeavour to transport ourselves as quickly as possible, to get from point A to Point Q, in as surreal "Fast and Furious-ish' manner as possible, trying to emulate the teleportation of the Gods.

And this attempt is almost 'video gamish'. (without the reset or re-start option!)

A peek into a Malayalees car and you'll find a lungi clad driver, a 'thorthe' (a handspun, discoloured thin towel draped over his shoulder - clutched firmly by the driver, virtually like an appendage that would make Linus in Charlie Brown jealous). Look further lower and you would find the drivers slipperless foot on a pedal called 'accelerator' (this foot pedal, when pressed, makes the vehicle attain higher speeds, no doubt, in a futile attempt to reach TPV ( Tele-Portation Velocity)). The Free hand of the driver would flimsily hold the steering wheel (the circular device to assist the driver to swerve left and right while attempting to navigate the pot-holes and other traffic). A closer look at the drivers steering hand, and you notice his thumb firmly glued to a button or lever or switch to one of the most important inventions within the car. 

The invention by Oliver Lucas early in 1910. 

The Electric Horn. 

While his invention may have been fitted in many cars since its invention, I have come to the conclusion that it has only been the 'Malayalee intervention' that has made people understand the true value and purpose of this electrical gadget.

Everyone probably knows that the horn operates on creating a magnetic field over the body of the horn, which makes everything inside vibrate and thus  release a loud reverberating noise, which we colloquially refer to as a HORN or a HONK. Many automobile manufacturers believed that this 'horn' and its audible noise would prevent accidents by alerting and averting unsuspecting users of the roads of an impending collision. 

However, Malayalees, who have been living with and have had the Gods on their side, have not had to deal with such earthly disasters. They, afterall, live in Gods Own Country.

While Malayalees drive, their feet, escaping from within the confines of their lungis, presses far down on the accelerator, encouraging their vehicles to zoom through the narrowly entwined roads of Kerala, in an attempt almost attempting to obliterate all speed records.

The Gods have noticed that in this quest to go faster and attain TPV, Malayalees, moving from the slow days of the Ambassador Car, evolving through the Maruti 800, and then to the Audis, Jaguars and much faster cars today that slowly inch towards teleportation speeds, had begun to forget safety in this quest. Thus I presume the Gods have thought of the safety of the habitants of his own country,  and decided that the proverbial horn shall serve the Malayalees with another purpose.

(I also presume the Gods didn't increase the width of the roads in Kerala since they anyway planned to gift teleportation to these highly literate people of His Own Country.)

The Second purpose of a Horn in Gods Own Country, is to protect the Malayalee. But not only in the conventional method of making them aware audibly of a possible pending accident, but to act as an electromechanical device that produces a magnetic shield that, when activated by pressing either a lever or a button on a steering wheel, creates an impenetrable field which protects the vehicle and its occupants within, against any perceived disaster. 

As long as the horn is activated, the occupants are safe (from collision), though not necessarily from the noise and pollution

There are a few conditions however to enable this safety.

The driver of the vehicle must be a Malayalee wearing a lungi. 

But then I pondered, why the speed. Why this uncontrollable rage to overtake?

This I have figured to stem from the basic competitive attitude of these very literate malayalee clansmen.

Speed is essential to realise TPV. And yet the gift of Tele-portation may not be as abundantly available (just as the waters of the the Mulai Periyar Dam have shown that even in Gods own country there are shortfalls) - and thus this race to acquire TPV.

Thats why you will find every Malayalee driver bent on overtaking everything in front of it. At any cost.

"Leave no vehicle in Front" is religiously followed and practiced by every Malayalee driver.

And slowly true understanding dawns on me as I conclude

The Speed - to attain Tele-Portation Velocity (TPV).
The Overtaking - to ensure being among the first to receive fruits of this Godly virtue.
The Horn - to prevent and protect.

Ram Mohan
Banjul - The Gambia 2015 January

PS

I believe that the few or many accidents that do happen in Kerala are due to several facts
-  the drivers are not from Kerala
-  the drivers don't wear Lungis
-  and most often - the horns aren't working

HORN PLEASE OK

The above is written in pure jest of a condition that exists all over India.  I truly believe that we need to learn of Road rules and follow them. Civic sense on our roads will prevent the millions of accidents we have. 

Air India - BEWARE OF TOUTS - Move Over Maharaja !!

Air India’s Maharajah gets a makeover!!!

THEY'VE MISSED THE POINT!! THEYRE MISSING IT AGAIN!!

The mascot, the Maharaja was supposed to signify that no matter who you are, Air India would treat you like a Maharaja!! 

In the past, among the several makeovers they've had, Air India have always lost the plot. 

Most of its staff behaved like Maharajas ( and Maharanis) rather than treat their passengers like royalty.

They've always behaved as though it's employment for LIFE. They were protected by unions and could never be sacked for sloppy service or even for misdemeanours! And theres rarely been a Service Attitude!! 

And thats why Air India was the last option to travel when you're looking for service. It's been only either die hard patriots, or Government employees forced to fly AI or 'throw-away-prices' that constitute their passengers. 

It's an under-performing overstaffed Airline. 

For years everyones being trying to turn Air India around. They've tried changing colours, Menus, Managing Directors and what not. Always missing the 'service attitude'!

Air India just needed to ramp up its service . 

The staff needed to realise that if the service attitude was wrong, you could lose your job. 

And the airline lost business and continues to do so. Overweight (sic) Airlines have no chance of flying long. Survival happens, just because you are a National Carrier that tax payers pay for. Until there is a change in attitude, Air India is doomed. 

And NOW what do our Administrators do? 

THEY WANT TO CHANGE THE MASCOT?

And WHY?
Because they feel that the MAHARAJA is a symbol of the Elite. They feel Aam Aadmi Passengers have not been flying Air India because they feel discriminated against by the Maharaja!!!
Wake up Air India. 

And LOOK at the New Mascot!! HELP - As @rushdieexplains tweeted (and @virsanghvi re-tweeted) - Looks like a Tout you find outside Air India Offices that Air India warns you against buying tickets from. 

Heloo!! Is someone even thinking right here?

Change of mascot is almost like hoping a lucky charm will change fortunes! and my word 'what a change'!!!
Please leave our Maharaja alone!

The day you start treating passengers like Maharajas, your fortunes will change!! Until then Beware of TOUTS.

Blaring Horns - Why cant we hear the noise?

A thought on why there hasn't been an equivalent outrage on Boko Haram atrocities as compared to the world outrage on the Paris Charlie Hebdo shootings. My take - 

LIVING IN AFRICA as a child in Ethiopia and as an adult since 1992 in Benin, Nigeria, Guinea , Guinea Bissau , Senegal and now in The Gambia, I can say that India and Africa have many similarities. We have come to live with and accept certain injustices.

What is an injustice?

To some of us, bearing loud speakers and loud air horns is something we have come to live with. Someone spitting or defecating outside our homes or even littering our community.  A few of us complain. A few of us will shout. Very few would take the trouble to actually take on some political bigwig to put a stop to the blatant abuse of our rights. What happened in Nigeria ( Referring to the inhuman massacre of many many innocent human beings by Boko Haram) is more or less a similar issue. Now before anyone accuses me of trivialising the tragedy - let me add, what was committed by Boko Haram was grossly different in magnitude and impact on the victims. But in theory, similar in attitude. The bench mark for oppression differs. In some places, use of force is an acceptable benchmark. In domestic violence, quite often if physical violence is absent, the victims feel this is acceptable as they have seen what ‘worse’ is. In a massacre in Nigeria by Bok Haram, the villagers have lived in this fear for years, that when it happens, the consequences may appear to have been inevitable - just as many others would accept judgment day – as something that could happen any time.

And there I draw a conclusion that when we, or those who live outside the realm of these atrocities, hear of a single incident in Paris are far more engaged and shocked, than when we hear of a Boko Haram massacre! The Boko haram act is almost an everyday event and a massacre of 10 or 10,000 doesn’t tingle your core spider sense. A single lone wolf attack in Paris does. It is a pathetic attitude. but it is an attitude of conditioning.

The West is quite responsible for this conditioning as much as the media is. 

The word is Sensationalisation.

An ISIS beheading is now becoming less and less sensational for the multitude of Internet or news watchers.

A friend recently reminded me how exciting the first Gulf War – Shock and Awe bombings on Iraq - were. The Birth of the CNN of today. I doubt the bombings in Syria Afghanistan Pakistan are even noticeable today. 

#JeSuisCharlie will soon be forgotten. Until the media and the terrorists find a new way to grab attention and sensationalize once again.

Adverse Advertising

Haven't we noticed that Advertisers are getting blatantly bolder and use loopholes in the law and not so subtle dialogues and methods to convey their messages, publicising goods or services that otherwise could not have been legally advertised. Watching Television,I feel that my intelligence is being questioned. Diageo - the worlds largest alcohol producer and seller, champions the cause of drinking and at the same time tells you to park your car!!

While I agree that drunken driving could be dangerous, I believe the root cause is elsewhere. Responsible people with good up bringing will drink and drive responsibly. Getting drunk is all about upbringing. But we shall save this discussion for another blog.

This discussion on advertising ethics has awoken questions, more recently after Uber were served an FIR for deception and cheating since their web site promised security to all its users!!  I found this absurd, especially while watching Indian television.

My sister brought a ketchup advert to my notice and the comments generally voice similar sentiments.

I presently (un fortunately) have access to only NDTV from India. I not only find the advertisements dishonest, but the very presentation of News, edited with sound effects, is a deception in itself. Paid news, biased reporting seems to go hand in hand with these deceptive advertisements.

Not only should the advertisers be subject to investigation, but so should the directors, producers and actors of these untruths be held to answer for their adverts.

As in criminal cases, they should be classified as to the dangers they could be responsible for resulting in.

FAIR & LOVELY and FAIR & HANDSOME
In my opinion, racist and discriminatory. Our kids in India growing up believing that it is OK to discriminate on colour of the skin.
Secondly would like to understand how these work and if they actually guarantee skin tone change without long term or hidden effects.
The Company, the Advertising company and more shamefully Shah Rukh and John Abraham.
Since it concerns Racism, what would their reaction be if an FIR  be lodged against them.

DIAGEO and its DONT DRINK & DRIVE Hashtag!!!
Like Walther PPK advertising that guns are unsafe!!!
NDTV should be found guilty for the advertisement campaign involving the largest seller of alcohol in the world who use this social issue for advertising.

SEAGRAMS, McDOWELL and all other Alcohol and Cigarette Manufacturers who have been permitted to promote Drinking ICE, SODA and Music. Legally very little against them, but blatant promotion of Brands famous for Alcohol and Cigarettes.

ADVERTS that promote CHEATING are quite dangerous when they teach our young that its OK to cheat for fun!

A recent Ketchup Adverts shows a Team Captain choosing a player who offers him a bottle of Ketchup

A VW Car Advert that advertises speed as a means to move from point A to B to please a waiting girlfriend.

Another Car Advert that uses wild driving to make a milk shake

A Cell Phone company that promotes a good selfie camera to cheat on a friend

THe Coke or Pepsi Advert sayings its Macho to steal someones drink.

Sensodyne and other Toothpaste adverts : How many of these Doctors are actually doctors or are the adverts doctored??

I was surprised to see a silly Mahindra Advert that shows a airplane drop a couple of thousand litres of water to wash a Scorpio with a suggestive female pilot suggesting she give the driver a wash too. Nothing deserving an FIR here, but didn't expect this from Anand Mahindras stable!!

The number of adverts that lie are far too many to list out and it would be easier to list those that exhibit ethics.
AAMIR Khans Athithi Devo Bhava from Incredible India is one that comes to mind of positive ethical advertising.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a Television PRogramme on the lines of Satyameva Jayate, which dissects each advertisement for its Truth versus Bluff factors? Whether a Shampoo actually got her hair smooth and silky, whether your Car Engine actually gets cleaned using a specific brand of oil, Whether a tyre manufacturer actually guarantees the performance of the tyre, if using AXE actually has an effect on all their targets!! How many of these adverts were

Or a forum that discusses each advert that does so and try to highlight them?

Try and launch a Chage.Org Online Petition to hold false advertisers liable?

Any Suggestions?

Raul and the Interplanetary isms!! A look back at the past from the Future

This Blog is written in pure jest, light hearted banter on an Election that Could change India. I have great respect for honest politicians and for the lead character in my blog, but do feel his talents have great potential in other domains, rather than in the mayhem of Politics in India. 

We are in the Year 2024. But why this Strange title for a blog.
(Please refer to the FAQ section for answers)

FAQ1. What are 'isms'?  The 'isms' relate to 'intellectual' outbursts from relatively known public figures that make common people like you and me stand up and take notice. These 'ismers' then become famous and make it their business to frequently spew out these outbursts. They perform this task with a clouded sense of ostrich like idiocy, genuinely believing that they are entertaining listeners. One of them is an ex cricketer called Biddu. I imagine that the Hero of my blog is in phase one, where his 'isms' fall on us un-intentionally, but have great and growing following.

FAQ2. Why Interplanetary? The antics of our Political champions have taken Indian politics and corruption  to an "out of this world" level that can only be imagined in "galactical" proportions, thus Interplanetary!!

Remember, this Blog is written in 2024 - many many years after some political incidents in India changed the way Politics 'happens' in India. It was one of the most polarizing years in the history of Indian Elections. Global warming was taking its toll on Indian Politics too!

Year 2014  - February.  India. General Elections are due in a few months. The Loud speaker business is so profitable that BOSE has shifted to making Public Address Systems. Flag makers, Poster Printers and Gandhi Topi weavers now drive to work in Mercedes Benzs. Tea Sellers fly in in Private Jets.

RAUL SCIONI I ( an impersonation by a famous Comic Strip Character) and quite interestingly resembling one of our yesteryear politicians.

Well, I guess we all know who the hero of my blog is.  Raul, I. Scioni. The Crusader. The Champion of the poor of Raye Methi.  Up in arms to make right all the wrongs, and set India on the right path. To correct decades of mis-rule and mis-governance. To change the destiny of India… The Destiny that he says has gone completely off track -….er…. despite having been in the drivers seat, at the helm of power for the last 15 years. Having driven the car all these un-fruitful years, now a woken up Raul is screaming that he has been driving on the wrong road. Deceived by the Road Authority of India. Now, almost stranded, he rises above his misery, above the misery and poverty around him, and putting a brave, unshaven face, appeals to the masses of India :  "Friends, Romans (He has his origins from Italy) and Countrymen, Lend me Five more 'years', and I shall"….he dramatically pauses, as he imagines the audience waiting with 'baited' breath..... and he continues…".I shall respect women!! I shall fight for you. Raul , (the hero of this blog then shifts to the third person, while referring to himself), Raul will fight for you. 'I've' been behind the purdah (the screen or less literally, the scene) (while he once again shifts to first person, as though changing gears to tackle a twist on his road)... all these years and thus, please, bear no grudge against me, for it wasn't me, but people of my party who haven't kept me abreast of your issues while Raul has been busy driving." The audience is now looking all across the maidan, searching for the other Raul… and are shaken out of this as the scion continues…"….And Raul (in third person again) promises you that he will bring back the glory .. .. the Glory.." ( Once again the masses look around for the elusive other Raul and the even more evasive Glory he speaks about.) And while the mesmerized masses listen in "hypnotic reverence" (what most learned people call 'sleep'), ordinary tele viewers like us ponder, that after GW Bush I, and Biddhu… are we seeing the birth of Raul-isms?

We listen in all the more intently -

Raul lays out his master plan.

Raul promises to empower women. When asked what he meant, by an ex famous ex TV Anchor, Raul reiterates that he promises that he would provide electricity (power) to women farmers to boost productivity to address food security and bring back respect to women.

Raul promises to Bring Cleaner Technology to Delhi. When asked how he intended to do this, he simply replies that by removing all the Brooms (jhaadus), he would bring in Vacuum Cleaner Technology!!

Raul Promises to take Indian villages into a satellite orbit.. and went into great detail explaining 'escape' velocity.  Villagers seem to absorb this lesson in Rocket science in dumbstruck awe, reminding me of my lessons in Sanskrit. I remember my experience in being unable to grasp anything of the language of the Gods was more out of a void within me to comprehend anything. I however am sure that the villagers seemed to understand and could possibly empathize with Raul.  We, also however, are yet to hear how he is going to achieve VRo (take off velocity) , but he apparently has been spotted buying several cartons of Diwali Rockets.

Raul said he came out on tops when interviewed by a top anchor. It actually took quite some time to get Raul to get off the Anchors shoulders. The poor Anchor, known to grill the toughest of tough names in Indian politics, never letting anyone else have a say, was apparently last seen at the Psychiatrists, seeking help and answers as to what went wrong that fateful night when he tried to out question Raul. 

Raul, then goes on to tell us the story of his life, his life with his Grandmother who was the boss at home. His Father too had no say in the house. His Mother then became the boss of the house. He says he hasn't married because he has had to work for the Party.  He trusts his sister and hopes she will one day become boss of the house. But his brother in law doesn't speak to him anymore since Raul tore up a Bill protecting  tainted politicians and their families. His B-i-L apparently wanted the words 'and families' struck off the Bill!!

Raul tells us of his trauma after his Grandmothers assassination, though he clarifies that, while he was aware, he was not responsible for mayhem that followed since he was too young to remember!! It seems pretty impertinent for politicians clamoring for a young child to apologize for no fault of his, he seemed to want to convey!!

Raul becomes very emotional when we discus Tea. He becomes agitated and refuses to discus anything to do with Tea.  The last time we saw him in this irritable mood was when a certain well spoken Stephenite Mr M Anni Shayar offered to let a leading activist politician,  AK00, come and sweep the corridors of the CWC venue. 

Since then M Anni has been taken off the CWC Arrangements Committee. He has since become a strategy advisor for opposition parties! All proceeds to go to the CWC though, from the dedicated Congressman.

Raul also loves attending Press Conferences. Especially when they don't concern him. His favorite ones are when a Minister Maekn is at them. Maekn doesn't seem to mind when this Boy walks in, tears up some manifesto , says something to the Press and then leaves. Maeknji says he is relieved because then no one bothers about issues the Press Conference was called for in the first place.

Raul has this love for land. He loves the smell of fresh earth. and since he believes in sharing, he has always shared what ever 'earth' he has acquired with his sister and brother-in-law. A truly loving close family. However off late, ever since Raul tore some bill seeking to protect tainted politicians, Raul hasn't any longer shared any of the land with his 'sala' (an 'endearing' term for a loving 'brother-in-law' in Hindi).

In conclusion, Raul says "Raul says Raul will protect women, see they are empowered. Food Security . Power. Empowerment. Women. Jai Hind" he finishes delivering his impregnated speech with the audience bearing the whole brunt of labour! Those who didn't understand, clap with a fervency, camouflaging ignorance. Those who did understand, didn't understand anything. For nothing was indeed said.

Well, that was many years ago in India. a fateful year for many political veterans and for political aspirants and for veteran aspirants alike.

Raul quit Indian politics in 2014 saying he wasn't able to cope with the hectic schedule of Press Conferences, Manifestos and Press Interviews. The Electronic age also apparently didn't help when Manifestos were being written on IPads and tearing up I Pads wasn't easy too.

Raul, the suave consultant, now sporting a clean shaven face, drives a Lambo , seen dressed most often in Armani, now lives in Spain and spends time between Italy, Kerala (fighting for rights of Italian fishermen and their families born in Kerala) and Telengana (another home, a State that offered him, his mother, doting sister and now reunited brother in law, some land and a key to the state for life)

A quick Fly back to the Present

Shri AK00(aka AK49)  (an impersonation by a famous Comic Strip character) and strangely bearing a strong resemblance to a current politician in India

India, 2024 March : General Elections are due. Incumbent PM Mr AK00, now fondly known as Shri AK49 is preparing for Elections. The Mango Party, in power since 2019, will have a cake walk. India is free from corruption. There are no blaring speakers (BOSE has quit the PA business and gone back to making those expensive home and car audio systems). The Chinese tried to get into the FDI Retail business of manufacturing Gandhi Topis, but thanks to the clever business acumen of PM AK49 and his able team, have thwarted that effort too and the Khadi GramUdyog Bhavan is now Indias biggest and most prosperous business house.  The BPJ party (if anyone remembers) will be a distant second.  Its star campaigner of the past, (no, no not LK Admani).

RK Laxmans Common Man
A very strong resemblance to a stalwart and PM Candidate for Life for the BPJ Party
We hear he (now 107 years old), intends representing the BPJ Party at their Youth Wing forum

We're referring to the T-Man, Mr MoNa. He has quit politics and returned to a roaring international business of Tea Marketing. There is a MoNa Tea Boutique in every corner of the world today. His Home state is thriving and is still affluent,  as has always been - thanks to the ever hardworking people of Gujarat!!

Tea Magnate -MoNa ( an impersonation by a famous Comic strip character) and quite coincidentally resembling one of our yesteryear Politicians.

A huge incomplete statue has become the worlds most visited incomplete monument in the World. It has raised the tourism based economy of  Gujarat threefold. It was called the Statue of Unity. One must admit that it genuinely succeeded in uniting the people - uniting all those who opposed the plan so vehemently and was thus partly responsible for the disappearance of MoNas presence in the political arena. 

The party of Raul I Scioni went through complete transformation and became a Womens Party fighting for the Empowerment of Women. Last we heard that they were staging a Dharna outside the Reliant Power company, demanding more power for Women!

Ram

Banjul, The Gambia

27th July, 2024

PS. And with the virtual political demise of the Grand Old Party of Indian Politics, when a former PM said, in mourning, let us maintain a minute of 'silence', the whole world stood and said "shhhhhhh, he's saying something!!!

A Former Economist and Very Silent PM ( An Impersonation by the versatile &  famous Alfred E Neuman)

words & symbols

Authors Note : With all due respect to my Grand Uncle, Late K C S Panicker, this blog has nothing to do with his Series of Modern Contemporary Paintings titled Words & Symbols ( a picture below  of which is self explanatory - for those not conversant with Modern Indian Contemporary art and artists of the famous Madras School)

The Words and Symbols in my Blog are evidently based on recent Political events back home in India, more specifically, the result of the results of the New Delhi Elections - 

words & symbols
Words & Symbols that wont be welcome at Congress HQ or No 1. Race Course Road, till the next Elections at least :

• -  Aap :  Sonia has requested all juniors,  including her son, daughter and son-in-law to do away with the respectful word and may now call her using Tu or tum or you.
  
• -  Baapu :  Mahatma Gandhi can no longer be referred to as Baapu.
  
• -  Nazia Hassans hit from the 70s, "Aap jaisa koi" has been declared seditious
  
• -  Rajesh Khannas hit film "Aap ki Kasam" has been recalled by the censor board
  
• -  R K Laxmans cartoons have also been declared Anti Poor and thus banned from all schools and public libraries! ( However sources not wanting to be revealed have said that the old guard of the BJP have adopted R K Laxmans Common Man due to a strange resemblance to one of their stalwarts. We also hear that the BJPs Presidential Candidate has thrashed these rumours. )
  

  

  R K Laxmans "Common Man"

  
  
• -  Mangoes are no longer Indias National Fruit and can only be referred to as "Mangifera Indica".  The Hindi word for Mangoes may no longer be used. The fruit has been banned from being served at home and at office. We hear a visiting MPs Driver has been dismissed for suggesting he loved Aam(Mangoes).
  
• -  Note: An attempt was made to nominate 'Parthenium Hysterophorus' to replace the Royal Mango as Indias vegetative symbol, but that was soon scuttled, and the paper torn up by Rahul at a Press Conference.
  

  

  PARTHENIUM HYSTEROPHORUS (Commonly known as Congress Grass)

  
  
• -  Aaplause, Claaping, Aapreciation,,,,,Aapathy, Chaapathi,,,  And other words that may remind the electorate of, and promote the "flash in the pan" political party AAP, that Rahul so very much wants to now emulate, can hereby no longer be used in their presence.
  
• 
  
• -  Ravinder Jadeja has unceremoniously been dropped from the Indian Cricket team when No. 1 Race Course Road heard that his nickname was Jhaadu!!
  
• 
  
• -  The City Sweepers Association were ecstatic as everyone of them had been given a vacuum cleaner each.  All their earlier implements were destroyed.  
• 
  
• -  Rahul had gone one step further and  passed a new promulgation calling it the Access to Cleaner Technology for The Urban and Rural Poor Bill where everyone in the country would have access to a Vacuum cleaner if they agreed to destroy their jhaadus (brooms).  India HAS to set a modern example, he had said.

- However, we hear the Sweepers have since gone on strike realising that these modern implements need electricity, something they haven't had,  to run. 

• -  And Breaking news, We just hear Rahul has attended another Press Conference and torn up the proclamation and has vowed to find a solution to provide an alternate to the Broom in the near future ( before the 2014 elections). We hear that it may be an Act to Provide Electricity to all Sweepers - before 2014 May!!
  
• 
  
• -  He added that All Congress leaders have been banned from making Sweeping remarks. ...…..
  
• The story continues....
  
  Ram
  Engrossed watching the Memorial Service For Tata Madiba Nelson Mandela… 
  Banjul 10th December, 2014