A Solution to Guineas Presidential Woes

I was just chatting with dear friends Ramsaab and John from Guinea Conakry - who say that all is calm for the moment and they are having a party! Reminiscences of many occassions of our lives in Conakry. They've just heard an announcement on Television that a 30 member Ruling Council will rule the country. THis brings a wonderful idea which should cater to everyones ego and finally bring peace and cheer to this rich yet impoverished land.

Why not host an ultimate reality show? The Presidential candidates become participants in this unique show? with elimination rounds held every week. ( the eliminated candidates need not get 'terminated' and the last one gets the presidency?

Cool? Its win win - unique and results in a democratic popular public choice!! and what better way to bring in Christmas and the New Year?
Ram
PS Guess this may be a way forward in many countries that have a powerful media.

The end of an epidemic, but the cancer remains!

Lansana Conte, self imposed psuedo-democratic dictator and life-time President of the 'Republique' du Guinea died of an illness yesterday ending a 24 year epidemic of a regime.
Today there was a Military Coup in Guinea and the Constitution and Government were revoked, reminding us that the cancer is still alive and kicking
Conte was able to change the constitution making himself president for life.
But he wasn't able to change his destiny.
Will the coup change Guinea's destiny?
The President has left his country with a cancer and it will need a paradigm shift if Guineans want to ever move foward. The bright side is that there is not much height for them to fall any further.
Ram
A Personal note on Guinea - I lived in Guinea Conakry from 1994 to 1996 and some of my best moments in life were in this Country. I spent most of my time in the interiors of this geographical and ecological heaven and most often tried to avoid the capital Conakry. Conakry taught you to be ready for anything. And thus while life was tough here, you learnt a lot. In dire circumstances, great friendships flourish. I've made some of my best friends here in Guinea COnakry. I met my spouse Jamila here too. Guinea a country probably second to Nigeria in West Africa in terms of Natural resources and yet way ahead in induced poverty because of corruption over all others in Africa. The Water tower of Africa and enough hydel-power potential to light up the whole of West Africa, yet unable to provide 70% of its population with electricity and water. The worlds largest producer of Bauxite. Vast reserves of Gold, Diamond, Forests and enough Tourism potential to take its meagre 10 million population into an economically comfortable situation, and yet - only 2-3% of the population benefits from this wealth potential.

RAM’S FISH & PRAWN PICKLE RECIPE

RAM’S FISH & PRAWN PICKLE RECIPE
(While the real credit for this Original Recipe must go to one of my ancestors, my Mother ( Subhadra.. Picture below) and my sister ( Nandita) must get full credit for initially confusing me with two different recipes when I asked them both for the recipe. I thus used both and added some of my own ingredients too. I will shamelessly say that I have become quite popular at gatherings where the pickle becomes an instant hit – especially with friends who like watering holes!!
The only misnomer is that a pickle is defined as something that is to be preserved. The shrimps and fish, however, used in the pickles would have had far longer lives outside, rather than in the real-world-matrix of my pickle.

Thus read on for Ram’s Pickle……(Skilfully Adapted to West African taste buds!)
INGREDIENTS FISH / PRAWNS - 1 KG

MASALA PASTE(Spice Paste)
GINGER - 2 ½ “ PIECE (Ground to a paste)
GARLIC - 1 LARGE POD (Ground to a paste)
JEERA - 1 TBSP (Ground to a paste and mixed with the above two)

TADKA (Fried spice) GREEN CHILLIES - 6-10 (SLIT ALONG THE LENGTH)
MORE GARLIC - 2 PODS (PEELED & WHOLE)
KADIPATA - 2 SPRIGS. (Curry Leaves)

CHILLI POWDER - 3-4 TBSP (Depending on HEAT requirements)
HALDI(TURMERIC) - 2-3 TSP

DRY POWDERS (More spices) MUSTARD SEEDS - 1 TSP (Dry roasted and powdered)
METHI SEEDS - 1 TSP (Dry roasted and powdered)

SUGAR - 2 TSPS

OIL - 1 ½ CUPS
VINEGAR - 1 ½ CUPS
WHITE WINE - 1 BOTTLED ( CHILLED) or
BEERS - 3-4 PINTS ( Highly Chilled)

SALT - TO TASTE

PREPARTATION (about 45 minutes- 2 hours - depending on time spent on the cooks personal high calorie liquid consumption) Cut the fish into 1” cubes/pieces. Shell, Clean & De-vein the prawns. Smear the Fish/Prawns with Haldi and Salt and set aside for some time – 30 mts approx Pop open a bottle of white wine or a chilled beer.
Heat the Oil and Deep fry a handful of Fish/Prawns at a time till golden brown, drain and set aside. Make sure that the Wine / Beer remains cool all the time – you could either hold the glass against your forehead or take a few sips to ensure that it doesn’t run flat. When all the Fish / Prawns have been fried, splutter a little mustard with the green chillies, kadipata (Curry Leaves), and the whole garlic – And fry gently for some time (1minute). To prevent the spluttering to choke you, take a couple of large swigs of wine/beer. Refil the glass if necessary to ensure that the content of your glass remains cool. ( Hint - Never let Beer or Wine warm up!)
Now add the ground paste (ginger/garlic/jeera) and fry until the oil surfaces. Make sure that the beer/wine has not got any of the spluttering mustard in it. Add the Red Chilly powder with the Haldi and stir. Add the vinegar and after Two Minutes put in the fried Fish/Prawns, add a little salt and stir. Bottom your glass and re-fill.When the oil surfaces, turn off the fire, sprinkle the mustard/methi powder and sugar – let cool and store.

Use a few toothpicks to tuck in a few fish/prawn pieces and finish off your wine / beer.
Note – If the pickles are to be stored longer, deep fry the fish / prawn longer. If more gravy is required, increase the quantity of masala. If you are making more than 1 Kg double the quantity of ingredients proportionaly and triple the quantity of Wine or Beer.
If too many chillies are used, drink a Lassi and make sure enough cold water is readily available!!! Cheers & Enjoy your Prawn/Fish Pickles. NEVER DRIVE AND DRINK! Park the Car.

On Complicating Life by Being Simple

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was probably one of the most complicated persons the human race had ever to deal with. Yet the epitomy of his success was his simplicity.

Think about it. It is quite true.

The more simple one tries to be, the more complicated he makes life for everyone around him.

We have several real-time and live examples in our midst.

From my personal experience - every guest whom I have had to host - and has said that he/she is used to simple life, has made my life all the more complicated. From Alka and her alcohol free-vegetarianism to Bunker Roy on his principles. Todays' world caters to complex wants and demands. Try asking for something simple and you could spend a trying time trying to fulfil your requirements.

I dread catering for a guest who belongs to the nouveau genre of Vegetarians. Their goal is to shun all that means suffering to any animal form. Yet in their persistence to ingest only vegetables and reduce suffering on the non-vegetarian sources in our food chain, they impose the most inhumane demands on their human hosts. Especially in Africa, where vegetarianism is understood to be the physical presence of vegetables (and not neccessarily the absence of meat) - where Fish and Chicken are not considered meat. And eggs and cheese?? Here you must be crazy to even contemplate that they are anything but vegetarian. I remember one of our cooks in Conakry who fed our brahmin accountant an excellent 'dal dish' for a few months untill he pulled out a chicken bone one day. Questioned, she simply said that she made it with chicken and 'turned' it vegetarian by simply taking the chicken out. Almost like baptising a chicken-dish vegetarian! She then honestly apologised for not removing the delinquent bone!!!

Back to the complexities of simplicity. From Khadi ( that simple form of attire, made from the simplest of yarn on a simple hand spun weaving machine) to simple hand made kholapuri sandals. We've seen it all in India. Bunker Roy , the founder of the Barefoot College of Tilonia, a citadel of simplicity, a dear friend who visits us in The Gambia, too is an example. His visits are energising. Yet are quite complex and reminiscent of the complcations that Gandhi generated that ultimately drove the British out. He refuses to carry a cell phone. Thus communication with him is limited to knowing with whom he is and calling them on their phones and then requesting them to connect him. Very ''Ghost-Who-Walkish' ( The Phantom from our childhood comics) - 'You dont find him - He Finds you' echoes in my head while I think of means to contact him. I have other 'simple' friends too - some who abhor the Internet and email, dislike the airconditioner, ....one can almost label them - strict vegetarians, only-boiled-tap-water-drinkers, coir-mat-floor-sleepers, well-water/hand-pump water bathers, Indian or a self-composting natural toilet users... the list of simple things that complicate is endless.

While we idolise simple people like Gandhi and envy the likes of vegetarian Alka and thinker Bunker who are able to mainain these lifestyles in todays world, guests like them can be the quite stressing too. And evenings entertaining some of them, for an almost alcoholic, complicated person like me, can be quite diverse - with bland food, bland drinks etc.

The conversation though is never bland.

Being Complicated is far simpler than being Simple.

Ram Mohan - December 2008

Post Script - Dear Alka, Bunker and all Friends - this was written more in jest and to justify the few words that introduce me in my blog - "I am quite complicated. I like Simple things". I thrive in the company of friends like you.

On Induced Democracy and its Rewards

This week, an Iraqi journalist threw a pair of shoes at George Bush as he said farewell to the Iraqis. GWBs gift to them (the Shiite government) was liberation from Saddam and the Sunnis. His gift to the Sunnis was ‘his style of Democracy’. Yet the perpetrator, a shiite, who launched his ‘shoes’ at ‘his’ benefactor, was for the watching world and his family, an IRAQI, Muslim, Arab, Oppressed human being venting their frustration at this un-welcome liberation. And this brings about the parody –

As Bush himself eloquently put it (after equally eloquently side stepping and ducking with speed and guile that would have made any boxer proud)

"He (the shoe thrower) was trying to draw attention to himself...thats what happens in free societies" thus exhibiting freedom of expression that we ( Americans) have brought into Iraq"!!! Duh! Was that a Presidential pardon offered by Bush or was it an excuse? Does that then make the National Emblem of Democracy a 'hurled shoe'.

I had written this note below in February 2008 in a light hearted manner on a heavy hearted issue.
The Americans have induced Democracy in Iraq and 'Hurled Shoes' are enough proof that it's working.

DEMOCRACY – The Bush Doctrine ( February 2008)

The word 'Democracy' will soon have several meanings in newer editions of the Dictionaries of the World. One form of Democracy, quickly replacing most other forms of governments is the legacy of George W Bush, a democracy that we shall refer to henceforth as Bush’s American Doctrine on Democracy. (Strangely enough, this transformation is happening very rapidly in Oil rich states due to some strange chemical affinity between Democracy and Crude Oil)

Bush’s American Doctrine on Democracy (or BAD Democracy for short) – Is defined as "the freedom bestowed upon all American People, a freedom earned by restricting the freedom of any other nation, race, religion, creed or sex that is in disagreement with this form of Democracy, that could or would destabilize the freedom of Bush’s American people. This could apply also to any other nation or region that Bush has found sufficient reason to induce his form of Democracy upon. (the reasons could be either the strategic location of the Nation (eg. Cuba) or its natural resources (eg. Iraq))

BAD also includes restricting the privacy and freedom of movement, thought and speech of his own (American) people so that they can live free peaceful lives. It includes permission to imprison those who don’t believe in true American Freedom. These prisons have to be conveniently located in nations that don’t believe in any form of Democracy, thus the accused non-democratic criminals would not have recourse to Democratic means to argue their case.

Since BAD believes in Bush's dictum 'You’re either with us or you’re with them (The Axis of Evil) it thus easily permits inclusion into this exclusive Democratic Club certain rulers or nations who have been autocratic or oppressive in their rule. This works like a membership card and the membership to this Democratic club can be bought. Thus Religious hardliner States ( like the Saudi’s) who believe in no democracy at all, who exercise all policies that Democracy has fought against in all its years of development, can have access to the Democratic label. On the brighter side, after induction in this club, the Saudis have improved their 'democratic values' and have down scaled all oppression by the State. We hear that they are even giving Women more rights, like the freedom to drive and speak when not spoken to. One hears that they have reduced the punishment for women exhibiting hair on their head from 50 lashes to only 25.

In this liberal form of Democracy, you can convert your non-democratic values into BAD Points under Bush's democracy and thus you can become a good BAD candidate. You earn 'more membership miles' as with any other membership card.

The Biggest advantage of BAD type of Democracy is that it is INSTANT ( Like Instant coffee). Unlike old fashioned Democracy, which you had to nurture for years in a nation, Bush’s democracy can be installed anywhere and anytime in any environment. It can be imposed on anyone too. Most often just needs a few arms, weapons, a few 100 Hummers, squadrons of F16s and Chinooks and platoons to install. Installations are done free by companies of the free world like Halliburton Inc. etc. They are now perfecting a DIY kit too – developed after years of testing in Afghanistan and Iraq. The have special consultants 'Cheney & Rumsfeld Inc' who are specialists in supplying catalysts to speed up the process and cloud all evidence of autocracy.

BAD Democracy also gives you a lot of freedom - the freedom to buy guns so that you can protect yourself from others who exercise the same right. You can start young by letting your kids try out these instruments of peace at school. This 'Learn while you are Young' program is proudly sponsored by the NRA (the ultimate symbol of Americas freedom).

BAD Democracy also gives you the freedom of choice. The freedom to choose a marriage partner – irrespective of which sex (gender), political inclination or battalion or division that you belong to.

BAD Democracy has a special Dictators Policy - Dictators thus have the choice of converting to BAD Democracy – quicker than one can change religion by baptism. Classic examples of rulers who have proved the effectiveness of BAD type of democracy are Gen Pervez Musharraf ( though of late he has corrupted the system and let some traditional democracy ruin his stature).

The United Kingdom too has been quick to see advantages in this form of Democracy. While advising other nations to liberalise movement and exhibit greater freedom and expression of though and human rights, under BAD Democracy Britain has now been able to enforce bad behaviour laws, binge drinking laws, public behaviour laws, moral policing at Pubs ( the very symbol of Britishness), nationalising Banks and what not…. All these values that were once the bastion of a free society ( which Bush insists are the best for Iraqis) are now found unsuitable for the British! The Government terrorising its population so that they wont be terrorized by the real terrorists. Of course one must be quick to add that all this is for the safety and protection of the British people!!

Bush's Africa Policy :– He spends 400Billion to fund a war and 2 Million for mosquito nets to Tanzania to prevent malaria. and a further 700 million to build a US Base there. Of course, this is to develop Tanzania and Africa. Imagine the rich American shoppers (the marines) and tourists thronging the pubs and streets of Dar.

Bush is proud to have pledged 25 million Dollars to fight Aids in Africa – Everything is a FIGHT – Fight for Peace, Fight against Aids, War or Terror etc etc. And guess what - every fight needs arms and weapons.

Most important ingredients : Money, Arms, Troops and more money

Most Important Personnel : Dick Cheyney, Donald Rumsfeld and Condy Rice – without whom Bush’s 'experiments with truth' would have never moved ahead.

When we were kids, when we fought amongst ourselves, we were told by our parents to appologise (even if it wasn’t our fault) – and strangely enough, we magically gained more life long friends. The moment we hit back, they hit back harder, and then our parents fought and then our grand parents fought and the neighbours ganged up and bought hockey sticks and bottles…. The more affluent bought guns. The even more affluent contacted the cops and bribed them……… Isn’t there a sane world out here.

We’ve seen this in real life and we’ve seen this in the movies – the more you corner someone and insult his sentiments – the more radical he becomes in thought.

This is what George Bush has done to the Muslims and other marginalized people. Rather than nurture the moderates and thus exclude the extreme radicals – he has alienated the liberals made them moderate and all the semi-liberals and moderates are now radicals.

Can you imagine why someone would give up ones life to kill someone that he or she has no connection with? Yes it is only an extremist that can do this – but this extremist has been created – by continuous oppression. When you have nothing more to live for, and continue to be oppressed, it is very easy for the terrorist recruitment agencies to convince you to give up your lives. The radical terrorists use focus of thought and clouding of vision to drag these already opressed into believing that blowing themselves up would give them salvation. They focus their minds on the likes of Bush and thus with clouded vision dont see the other humans they will kill.

When one sees images of George Bush handing out mosquito nets in Tanzania, it is unsettling to imagine that 1 million children in Africa die from malaria and its eradication would cost not more than 10 million dollars a year – that’s not even ½ a percent of the monthly budget of his war in Iraq.

When will anyone see reason?

Ram Mohan

February 2008.

INTERNAL CONSTANT COMBUSTION ENGINES

INTERNAL CONSTANT COMBUSTION ENGINES – 2008 DECEMBER

Below is a parody that I've written based on earlier thoughts that I've always had.

If we could develop an Engine - engineered on the model of the Human Body - into which you could put virtually any type of fuel - have separate processing chambers for each type of fuel- whether efficient or inefficient or a single processing chamber ( like a stomach) - and various exhausts (solid/liquid/gaseous etc) - a maintenance system that resembled human maintenance - and batteries that were life long - wouldn't that be the ultimate Engine? Always On - LIFE LONG Batteries and virtually ANY kind of Fuel?? IMAGINE - You're short on Fuel - pick up some leaves, dried or Fresh, or stop at a restaurant or a bar.............Of course we'dhave to build many many Travellers Output Input Leftover Exhaust Treatment ( TOILET) units .... just Imagine - No More fossil fuels ..... no more Gulf Wars.....

I'm sure a Chetan Bhagat could use both his literary skills and his experience at IIT to 'conceive' the real ultimate engine - far before GE,Ford,TATA,Rolls or NASA do so. But again, if those of us who watch FLINTSTONES understand, these engines (engines as in 'things that make other machines move' ) were used successfully in the stone ages - 4 stone wheels with a human pushing it..... and Voila! You have a Car.......hmmmmm .... as I think of it more seriously, the Rickshaw wallahs of Calcutta and the Cycle Rickshaw'karans' of Tambaram are all Engines similar to my Concept. And the Bicycle too........ !!! HEY I think Im heading down the wrong track and before I take any more credit away from my work(!!) and intellectual concepts, let me move this ahead.....

The idea of sending this to you(I did mail this to a few intellects!) is to ask for suggestions? Need I Copyright Protect the thought? Atleast the parody? It ofcourse will be included in my NEW book ( .....Dont ask me about an OLD book as I haven't written any as yet.... 'New Book' is an 'Ashwathama' kind of un-said truthful lie.... ( for those who don't know 'Ashwathama' , It was an elephant who..... er.. guess it'll be quicker easier if you read Shashi Tharoor's - 'Great Indian Novel' or Amar Chitra Kathas 'Mahabharata'. There are a few references too in a book called the Bhagwad Gita - but then we'd lose track and forget what we set out to do in the first place).

Has any one noticed how easily human beings digress from principal matters? I have spoken to a doctor recently who suggested that people could be suffering from an acute memory loss condition called some syndrome ..... I've forgotten what exactly ...but better continue with my lead story before I digress any further.......

Voila! Here's the Parody!

The Ultimate Internal Constant Combustion Engine - The Human B-Engine ( I contemplated calling it the HUMM-Engine but then realised it could be confused with the American symbol of Imperialism, War and Imposed Democracy.. thus prefer a greener name)

Built 'Indigenously' and (ingeniously too)of 100% Bio-degradable Material - Manufactured in a scientifically proven Energy Renewable - Organic Thought Induced Conception ( I'll leave a few anagrams to the reader ) process involving various Sequential Exponential Configurations(another reader's anagram required here)

ENGINE TYPE - Constant Combustion/Highly Hybrid

FUEL TYPE - Variable/Hybrid. Clean Water & Air are Essential

FUEL EFFICIENCY: Depends on factors such as type of fuel/environment/ maintenance track record, etc - though quality high distillates from the highlands of Scotland have proven to provide best efficiencies when used in moderation.

EXHAUST - Marginal Toxic Emissions containing Methane ( Disposal in public is socially frowned upon though). Solid waste Exhaust makes good Compost (Periodic Disposal Required)

CHASSIS : is Multi-part Calcium based flexi-mobile structure with Auto Regenerating Capabilities - Quite susceptible to external damage.

GENERAL MAINTENANCE & RECOMMENDED PRACTICES

Of course the opening welcome line would be 'Congratulations on procuring a new HUMAN Engine'. Before using this sophisticated equipment, please read the manual first. Please remember that you must actually teach this interactive engine to operate for the first 10-18 years. The more inputs will give you better outputs. Cleaner Inputs will give you cleaner outputs as well.

While the Chassis is seemingly weak compared to other mechanical engines and its load carrying capacity is restricted, the Neuro-intelligence central exchange unit has BRAINS (Biological Regeneration And Intelligent Nervous System) - thus intelligently uses resources to maximise efficiency (in a well tuned broken-in machine). However, if the BRAIN of the Engine is not broken in well in the first 10 years, the engine and its chassis can become very inefficient. The fuel Consumption / Intake goes up drastically and after the 40th year the Engines weight/fuel consumption (W/FC) ratio could go up very high and thus the engine could be subject to unscheduled break downs requiring intensive expensive care. At this point many users tend to resort to the use of Alcohol based fuels to overcome this high W/FC ratio. While this again may show a sudden short spurt in operational efficiency, regular adoption of alcohol based fuel use could burn the Engine gradually and it becomes all the more inefficient and dies out earlier.

This Engine needs constant but low cost maintenance.

If maintained well for the first 40 years, then maintenance required over the next 30-40 years can be very economical.

Poorly maintained machines become very expensive to maintain.

Major Maintenance Workshops or Human Off-line Service Pit-stop for Internal Technical Assessment of Logistic Systems (HOSPITALS) have become an ancillary business.

The BRAIN needs constant Maintenance Of Remote And Local Emotions ( MORALE) boosting to make them last longer. And thus most machines need constant company once they are past 18-20 years to keep their efficiency going. Thus the manufacturers included two programmes in the sales contract itself called the Welfare of Internal systems For Efficiency ( WIFE) and the Generational Induced Rectification Licence For Regenerating Internal Engine Nervous Disorders ( GIRL-FRIEND). We have seen that a well maintained WIFE program works for a life time but the GIRL FRIEND Program - while exhibiting an excellent surge during the incubation period of the program, very soon loses MORALE boosting properties and induces inefficiencies far greater than the efficiency level when the program was induced. Several machines have however successful implanted a permanent WIFE program and use several short term GIRL FRIEND programs introduced from the 40th year after intervals of 7 years each ( Called the 7 year EACH Program - In some dialects it is known as the 7 year ITCH programme!!)

SIZE : Develops /Grows into various sizes since this is a Regenerating Model - Growth Rate/Final Size depends on various factors - such as Type of Fuels and Frequency of Refuelling.

COLOUR's - Depends on inherent colours of the Sequential Exponential Partners in the Manufacturing Process. Turns out in a multitude of pastel shades from Pale White to Dark Black ( A disturbing trend where manufacturers and users in certain parts of the world were only accepting certain colours of engines has in the recent past been legally banned and hence there has been more integration programs and interesting colours being turned out. Latest News has it that the White house in the US has recently installed a Black Engine for the first time.

GUARANTEE : Life of the Engine - 50-80 years ( Subject to Accepting all Pre-conditions)

Efficient Operational Years - 40 years( under Test Conditions)

If Maintained Well - 50-60 years -

If Maintained Very Well (over 100 years)

RECYCLING WARNING- Modern Technologies have introduced a recycling program which overhauls the engines - with use of Plastics and this is not recommended by manufacturers - Several Illegitimate HOSPITALS tried selling re-cycled WIFE and GIRLFRIEND programmes for old engines, but we have not heard of any success here.

DISPOSAL OF ENGINES :- The Engines are 100% bio degradable and modern practices suggest incineration - however various practices are followed.

What Can I do to Improve my Country?

A friend of ours, Jayaram, asked us ( friends on a gruop web-site) to, rather than go 'Politician' hunting after the terror attacks, to suggest what we could do or what advice we could give the Home Minister to curb further attacks. Or to hypothetically take a few steps to 'get our country back' from the clutches of politics. THis mail below was my response -

"The Question Jayaram probably is asking is whether, I have it in me, to take the steps to do what I want done in our country, to make it the India that we want to live in? -

What’s written below is what I would call Hypocrisy within myself since I know that I wouldn’t be able to achieve 1% of this.

My hypothetical wish list is below (Not necessarily in the order of preference)

1. I would make President Kalam a President for a further term or more...

2. I would ban the use of Religion by any political party (and conversely the use of Politics as well by any Religious body)

3. I would BAN anyone with a Criminal record from any form of public appearance.( It would be important to define the nature of the criminal implication else we would become like the US where lawyers rule supreme and litigation takes precedence over everything else)

4. I would end Reservations - I would make Education free for the downtrodden at the Best Schools and Universities - But they would have to prove themselves. This can be introduced in a 10 Year plan to give those who have not had a chance - to uplift themselves.

5. I would support Green Energy Solutions in Rural India to commence with. Urban India will have to learn from Rural India.

6. Poverty eradication programmes - would have to take a priority - India cannot shine unless the poor have hope. You have to be a little socialist to make this work. This is probably India’s most complex problem but the MOST PERTINENT to solving our problems with Government. If the downtrodden have employment/work and income - there will be less poverty and thus less crime and more importantly less malleable to Political beck and calls. A permanent fund to support farmers who contribute to Food Security. Give them incentives even when there is no crisis.

7. I would make the Armed Forces the highest paying profession - BUT would raise the standard of entry and promotion. Lowering the standard in the forces would be catastrophic. They should be paid far higher than that of the Civil Services.

8. I would reduce our dependence on the US - They seem to need us more then us, them. And the manner in which the US have antagonised the Muslims and coloured people, it makes our foreign policy difficult when we are closely associated with them. Probably after a few years of Obama - may have a rethink on this one.

9. I would resolve Kashmir once and for all - a few bold referendums and decisions - if need be. Thereafter we can ignore Pakistan - while making sure that our borders are protected. A well remunerated and looked after Army is all we need. Pakistan needs us to survive. A Pakistan without Kashmir as an issue, will be no longer have a voice in the world

10. Our youth needs activity and Sporting activity is the best - we have a huge scope for development here and this will yield results. We have the manpower (and woman power too !!!) - Keep Politicians out of the sporting bodies and BAN life time Chairmanships of Federations. This is what is killing sport. Ex-Sportsmen and women should head Federations and this will give a huge boost to sports.

( Don’t I sound like any other politician here!!???)

NOW TO A MORE HYPOCRITICAL ANSWER ( or Questions?)

WHAT WOULD WE DO (from the position that WE ARE IN RIGHT NOW) TO IMPROVE OUR LOT AS INDIANS

This is the tough one (the line that Sulabha was taking) - I first have to think/reflect on -

1. Would I stop tipping/dashing the cop who’s stopped me ( whether or not he has the right to OR whether or not I did make a traffic infringement or not)

2. Would I make the effort and stand in a queue to Vote - *(Its easy to say that I wont vote for X or Y because they are all corrupt - but would you vote and if there’s no one to vote for would you push a candidate) -

3. Would I refuse to buy a flat or build a house on a plot that I’ve already paid a lot of money for, because it was on an illegally procured plot?

4. Would I pay a tip to get on a train even though I did not have a reservation?

5. Would I stop the train or bus if I saw someone at the receiving end of an injustice?

6. Would I give up my clothes/garments/shoes if I was aware that someone in the production line has been exploited.

7. Would I blow a whistle if I saw someone else being corrupt and it did not affect me directly?

8. Would I resign my job if I knew my company was not adhering to the law.

9. Would I go further after resigning - to prosecute or attempt to prosecute my company - or would I go on with my life elsewhere.

10. How far am I willing to go on Gandhian principles. How relevant are they today? One film about Gandhigiri ( Lagey Raho Munnabhai) did actually create a stir - and then once again we’ve forgotten it. My question is that if we can conscienciously try to become straight and honest citizens - will it be enough to correct the nation from bottom up?

PERSONALLY - This is what I am trying to do from where I live -

1. Stop throwing litter around

2. I teach my little daughter to do the same

3. Pick up litter even if someone else has dropped it

4. Refuse to Bribe someone for something that I need. ( I do sometimes convince myself and my conscience that giving a 'dash' in some parts of Africa does not surmount to bribery as it is a way of life here - they do not get paid salaries for many months - thus a police man here stops you and asks for money not because he is corrupt - but because he either has no other source of income or is just asking because 'you have' and 'he wants')

5. Use a bicycle whenever possible to move around or travel with a car pool if possible

6 Moving towards using Solar energy at home for water heating

7. Devote some of my time to Development work in an area that I can lend my experience.

8. Assist villagers in making sustainable incomes with my business

9. Encourage the youth in my neighbourhood to engage in fair play sports

10. Discourage the use of racist words in my circle

11. Encourage the importance of making Religion very private within my circle once again .........

I don’t know how much of an effect we can make individually in this manner - but it at least makes you feel good.....

However I do enjoy my Vodka and Whiskies and often wonder if I’m breaking an ethics code somewhere????

Cheers

Ram

PS I haven’t been able to count the words I’ve used and hope that I have not gone beyond the 1500 limit :-) .... guess I’m disqualified anyway!!

Hyde and the Beanstalk, Jacks Story.

Jacks Twisted Beanstalk Tale By RM ® 2006

(I’d think this was my first foray into trying to write (as in being a writer), albeit being nonsensical, I realize that there could be some hidden writing skills in me. To this date I live with this feeling and am sure that the real writer in me is yet to surface. Until THAT happens, I will ask readers to bear with these twisted tales.
This particular TALE was actually pulled out of me when Jack, a donkey that lives on our farm became a celebrity of sorts among friends and especially our childhood kids group (the NDA kids on a group web site). My sister wrote on the site asking me how I had acquired Jack – and this 'bit' that follows was the result of some wild thoughts – the Nun referred to is actually her, Nan-dita my sister. Further down in the story is the Vegetarian who sold me the farm – that was Nandu Rajwani, a vegetarian Radhaswami follower and millionaire from whom I actually bought the farm. The rest of the situations are imaginary and have no resemblance to anyone or any situation in this world or on Mars(in view of there being a possibility of Life and lawyers on Mars) except as stated hereafter. The hiding I refer to later in the passage, that my wife gave me and my Ass, does have some resemblance to real life hidings that I get for other domestic misdemeanors!! The tractors are real and proud Indian Mahindra tractors that exist and contrary to the tale, perform better than Jack on the farm. Ram – 2008 December)

Once upon a time, I was asked by some Nun how I acquired Jack, a retired Ass (Donkey) that lived on our farm. This was my twisted tale :-

No Bollywood Filmi plot here. Jack doesn’t turn out to be my long lost brother and No Hollywood style plots too - thus Jack doesn’t turn out to be ME in the real world (a 'la The MATRIX)..... The real story is however quite strange too (almost straight out of a very grim Fairy Tale) – It goes back to a time when we used to till land with brute animal force and bare hands. We had acquired this farm from a vegetarian friend who apparently had, decades ago, (according to a very corny story teller) planted some magic beans on this land. They told us this incredible story of how the bean stalks grew and grew high up into the sky..of how some little brat had climbed up one of the beanstalks, stolen something from someone living on the top of the beanstalk, and eventually escaped and made a lot of money and thus didn’t want to till this land anymore. That was said to have happened many many moons ago. After we bought this farm, we too planted beans, as that was all that would grow here. There was however one horrible huge beanstalk that grew right up into the sky and gave us tons and tons of beans every day. This brought the price of beans so low that we almost had to pay people to take beans from us. So in view of these dire market circumstances, we finally decided to chop the beanstalk down and take it to the market to sell. With the proceeds we decided that we would buy one of those shiny new Mahindra tractors. We were convinced that with a tractor we could quickly till all the land again and plant something else. So on the next fateful Sunday (sacrificing my Golf game), I chopped down this huge beanstalk. It was exhaustive, tiring work (but must admit it has immensely helped me with my golf swing and my game from the rough as well). I then heaved and lifted this immense beanstalk on my shoulders (this was real tough too but has helped me improve my caddying skills). I then trudged a weary way to the far away market to try and sell this burden of a beanstalk. As I plodded along to the market, a funny looking man in a funny looking hat, magically appeared, startling me. He called out to me by name and stopped me. He said that he could save me this long walk to the market. He then said" In exchange for your burden of a beanstalk, I can give you something superior to the tractor that you want to buy". I was dumbstruck as I wondered how he knew the object of my journey. He disappeared in a flash and once again magically reappeared, leading a fine looking Ass (Donkey) with a wonderful red neck-tie tied around it’s neck. I thought about his proposal - this fine Ass in exchange of my heavy burden!. He assured me that the donkey could do all the work a tractor could do and much more. He assured me that the Donkey was far more hard working, needed less fuel, made lesser noise than a tractor and more importantly was intelligent and could multiply (I didn’t imagine at that time that he was speaking Mathematically). I quickly agreed. The exchange completed, the funny man disappeared with the beanstalk tucked away under his arm. I took off, riding his Ass back to our farm.

The reception at the farm changed our lives forever. The family was immediately very upset with me, especially my wife who was looking forward to the shiny new red tractor. The verbal whipping that the both of us (Me and My Ass) got was so severe that the Donkey withdrew into a personality shell and never did any work from that day on. We named him Mr. Hyde. Thereafter Hyde neither did any work on the farm nor did he multiply. All our efforts in getting him to mate turned out in vain as Hyde was always hiding. However, in spite of his permanent absence, his braying used to be a constant reminder of his presence on the farm. Whenever we tried to call him to work he would hide. It was only years later that we realized that he actually did understand English. Thus whenever we called him by name to work, “Hyde, Hyde” he actually hid! And thus for all those years while we imagined that he did not want to work, the poor chap was obediently obeying us. It was also many years later that we realized that he knew Mathematics and could multiply and add too. The funny mans words came back to me to and trouble me to this very day - “This Ass can not only do all the work a tractor can, but he can also Multiply” he had said. But by then it was too late. Hyde lived his lonely life alone, devoid of Physics (work) and void of any Mathematics (multiplication). Years later, Hyde died a natural death. We missed him terribly. Being unable to find Hyde when he wasn’t around and not hiding, turned out to be more traumatic for us than not finding him when he was around and hiding. We preserved his red neck-tie in his remembrance. As months passed, his absence continued to haunt us at the farm. We began to miss his hidden presence so much that we decided that we had to find a replacement to fill the void in our lives. So we went to the market nearby and bought a similar looking Donkey. Our daughter liked the donkey a lot and named him Jack..... and that is how we got Jack!!! Jack now sports Hydes Neck-tie proudly.

On Corruption & Terrorism

For years, I've loved to read and never thought about writing. I've started this blog in 2008 along the years have seen that the writing bug hits you once in a while.

Here goes :-

We have been having a few discussions, among friends, on the issue of Corruption in our Armed Forces. 

The debate centered around whether there was more corruption in the Forces than is visible. 

Do we "outsiders" feel there is less corruption among our Armed Forces because we ( as outsiders) are not directly exposed to it, as opposed to those in defence services, who see corruption outside as well as inside, but more often speak of civilian corruption.

We are discussing the Armed Forces and not the Police and Security agencies.

The 'corruption' visible in the armed forces is immediately linked, not to the fighting forces or the jawans, but to the supply & procurement services wings ( the Supplies Distribution System of the Army - the Quartermasters Stores, Ordnance, etc). Corruption closes in here more because of the influence from external or civilian suppliers and a 'trade' opportunity - thus commissions paid for procuring goods from a particular supplier.

I personally feel that individual character has a lot more to do with corruption, whether in the services or out. And this character is built at Home by parents, friends and family and at School by Teachers and friends, and thereafter by the company one keeps. In todays' world, character is also built by external forces like the media. Satellite television and the Internet have brought outside influences to our living rooms. Here however, is where parents come in and can limit or channel these influences. Thus once again PARENTS play the 'directors' role of moulding of ones character. If the basics are right, then rarely can outside efforts corrupt.

And in the current context of the terror attacks, I am sure that the above holds good for Terrorism too. Strong character moulding at a young age will be the strongest tool to battle terrorism in the long term . After all isnt terrorism a corruption of the human psyche?